Sunday, December 16, 2012

BWAAMP!!: A Tragedy

If you’ve seen a movie trailer for an action movie in the last two years you’ve heard it, and heard it, and heard it, and have grown to hate it: it’s the dreaded BWAAAMP!!

Things started out so well between the BWAAAMP and I. When it showed up in the trailer for Inception in 2010 it was so fresh and different, blaring out of the Youtube window with promises of intensity.

I wasn’t the only person to notice, of course. By the next summer it was everywhere. Transformers 8- BWAAAMP!! GI Joe 2- BWAAAMP!! Battleship- BWAAAMP!! I hated it already, but at least it was useful. The BWAAAMP became an easy warning sign for crappy films. “Move along, nothing to see here!” it would say. “BWAAAMP!!” it would add, needlessly.

Now, though, BWAAMP has crossed the line. Imagine me at my laptop, perusing the internet for novelties, when I come across the first trailer for the next Star Trek.

“Oh!” I said, “a trailer for a movie that I am actually quite interested in and will likely see! How exciting!”

You bastards. If you can’t leave Star Trek alone at least spare a thought for poor Benedict Cumberbatch, a genuine British Person.  All he wanted to do was strut around being the most British man in the world (and Khan probably). He never asked for this.

There is light at the end of the tunnel, however. Why just today I was watching the trailer for Del Toro’s new Pacific Rim which actually looks pretty good andBWAAMP!! ohgodigiveupontrailersforever.

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